A first date is often a nerve wracking experience and this is even more amplified when it’s your first time back on the scene after a hiatus. So, to help calm those nerves and put your best foot forward, here is some advice to ease you back into dating life.
So you have the date in the diary and it’s a week or so away. What’s the next step? No the answer is not to freak out. Instead, first check that you have a ‘date’ organised.
- If you are already nervous you don’t want to fuel it by not being prepared and ending up walking around aimlessly trying to find a bar. Find out the kind of evening she enjoys and then book in that table and remove one less stress.
- The better you feel about yourself, the better you will be on the date. If you have needed a haircut for weeks or are tired with your wardrobe then make the effort to shape up and prepare a good outfit.
- A lot of people’s biggest worry is conversation. Now, you should firstly trust that you will have things to talk about but if you are stressing, don’t hesitate to ask your friends what they talk about. Some of them may have interesting topics or questions that you haven’t considered.
- Know what you’re doing the day of the date. If you are at work then make sure you have worked out the route or that you know how much time you have to get ready before you need to leave. You don’t want to be rushing around because you didn’t leave yourself enough time and then arrive stressed and sweating.
- All in moderation but it sometimes doesn’t hurt to have one drink before. This can just take the edge off the nerves and relax you into the evening.
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This is the best part so don’t let your nerves take over! Just trust in yourself that you will have a good time and whatever happens, it is a learning experience so don’t be too hard on yourself.
- Remember to ask about her – ask questions and be interested in her answers, it goes a long way!
- Eye contact – the best way to flirt is to keep the eye contact going, especially if physical contact is restricted i.e. sitting opposite at a dinner table.
- Teasing – don’t take this one too far as you don’t want to actually offend her but any form of play teasing that results in laughter can be really effective. A date that is punctuated with laughing is very important and one of the most attractive traits you can have is a sense of humour; if anything goes wrong, don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
- Be confident – fake it until you make it. If it’s your first date in a while then you will probably be nervous and doubting your ability to get back into it. However, during the actual date you need to ignore these feelings and be confident in yourself. A guy who knows who he is and is happy with that is a lot more attractive.
- Compliment her – don’t lay these on too heavy but paying a compliment is a great way to indicate that you are interested, make her feel better about herself and show that you pay attention.
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If the date didn’t go so well then you can probably ignore this last section. It is always polite to thank someone for their time and then you have complete permission to not message again on that amicable note.
However, if you would like to see them again then, funnily enough, also message. This text can be a little more personal and keen without seeming overly gushy.
A simple message would suffice, for example:
“Thanks for tonight, it was fun! Would be cool to do it again if you’re free sometime next week? I know a bar that…”
Friendly, interested and happy to make plans concrete without coming on too strong. For the end part of the message, it is always good to relate it back to something you two talked about during the date. She said she’s never been to an outdoor cinema? Chuck that comment in.
From this point on, the ball is in her court. Wait for her response and then, if she seems eager to take it to date two, you know you have truly been welcomed back into the dating scene.