Have you experienced coming out of a first date thinking “this went well, I’m sure I’ll be dating this girl again soon”, only to find out later that’s not the case and the girl doesn’t show real interest in seeing you again? You’re not alone, this happens all the time.
Whilst there’s no perfect formula to guarantee 100% success on the first date (or any date), there are great ways to improve your chances of getting a second date.
I’m giving you 5 of my best pieces of advice to impress a girl on the first date.
Your date is not your mate
I find awkward how often guys come to me and they talk about dating girls in a way they almost seem to be dating their mates instead. Dating a girl is not the same as being with your mates, which means some behaviours accepted by your mates are most probably weird for a girl.
When and if you get to know your date better you’ll have plenty of time to be more silly and less ‘responsible’ with your acts, but when you’re getting to know someone you need to avoid shocking.
You don’t know her just yet
Don’t even assume you know a girl you just started dating, that’s a big mistake. If for example she says she likes kids, don’t go on assuming she wants to marry and have kids as soon as she can. Making those kind of assumptions and talking about them is risky. Your date might think you love patronizing all women and that’s not a good thing.
Let the talk flow and allow her more self-expression rather than imposing your assumptions.
Women can get really frustrated if you promise too much and don’t deliver. You should, at least, meet expectations, but ideally you should exceed them. Let’s imagine you’ve been chatting online with a girl you still haven’t met and you’ve been talking about yourself. You don’t want to lie about your looks, means of living, etc. Keep it simple and real, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’ll realise at some point that being honest and truthful gets you way further than being a liar.
Keep a warm interesting chat, but leave the best bits for when you meet. That fantastic trip you did a month ago could be an ideal ice breaker for when you meet and will impress her more than just telling about it over texting.
Having a great balance between what you tell before and during the actual date is crucial to manage her expectations. My rule of the thumb is, keep interesting conversation on texting, but leave the fabulous stuff for face to face.
The most important rule is: never lie about your looks, ever. I’ve had loads of girls telling me how rude, stupid, ridiculous some guys they dated looked when they lied about their looks. Girls hate it, that’s a fact and you’ll never go anywhere with saying you look like Brad Pitt.
Girls pay attention to details
Girls can take note of the smallest details. Unlike guys, girls love details and paying attention to them. So when you prepare yourself for a first date you need to remind yourself constantly of the small details.
Start with taking caring of your look accordingly. I’m not saying to be vain and to spend hours at the mirror, but make sure you don’t go to a date with the trainers you use for running. A woman will want to see you made an effort and she will look for signs that was the case. If you groom, smell nice and dress clean gives out a clear message you care about that date and therefore the girl you’re dating.
Some guys think they’re about to meet a much laid back girl and this doesn’t really matter. Wrong! Girls, even if they are chilled and laid back, they care looking into details and observing how you committed to the date.
This doesn’t mean you should bring flowers or put make up on, you need to find the right balance. Sometimes just knowing what she likes to do and taking her out to the right place can go great length.
I always mention this to guys dating. Seems obvious, but at the same time more and more there’s less respect for others. On a first date it’s vital that you respect the other person at every level. If you realise you have different tastes, political views, ethics, etc. You need to make an effort to respect those and not block communication by not doing so.
Girls can be quite sensitive if you question their tastes in life. They will most probably take it too personal and realise you’re not the guy for them. Even if you’re not compatible, the first date isn’t definitely the place for arguments. Not very smart to go on a first date making jokes about the way she adores her cat.
Respecting her will is also important, for instance, if you’re in a pub you’ve chosen and after a while she mentions another place nearby she likes, you should be receptive and respect her will by going there.
By nature the first dates are more woman centric that the other way around.
Human history show us that man is supposed to court a woman until her desire is manifested. Our societies evolved a lot, but this, for the most part, remain the same.
What’s interesting is how us men also love being courted and tend to forget our main role. Whilst we can get in a position where both parties flirt, it is our duty to allow our date to shine.