Online dating – Paid vs. Free and why I don’t mind paying

girl using online dating on the smartphone

Why I don’t mind paying for online dating

Who doesn’t like a freebie? Or even better a free service. I guess we all do. That’s why free dating sites and apps are so popular, they offer a great opportunity to explore online dating without having to pay a penny.

So why don’t I use them? Yes, you got it right, I prefer paying for a service over getting it for free.

Quick and easy answer comes in a simple mind-set concept I realized after using both free and paid dating sites for a long time.

Keep reading to see if you get what I mean


Sound silly to title this mind-set, but now stop and think to yourself, how do you tend to look at free and effortlessly to get in life? They are great, no argument about that, but sometimes we end up being uncommitted to the offer.

Ever broke something and then realized ‘oh, that’s fine, it was a freebie’, that’s how we feel about so many free stuff we are surrounded by.

Online dating is no exception. What I realized after using free services for quite a long time is that people are careless about committing to make it work for them. Of course there are exceptions, but I can’t live with the fact most users are just trolling and unsure of what they’re after.

It’s also true this happens more to guys than girls. Guys tend to see free dating as a great chance to find sex or the casual fling. And whilst girls tend to look for something a bit more serious, they still don’t commit to the dating in the same way they would if they were to pay for it.

So the mind-set for me it’s the bottom line who defines why I don’t advocate or use free dating sites.

This takes us on a journey with many annoyances.

Annoyances of free dating

With careless minds around, the free sites are exposed to a fair bit of annoyances. Some girls would agree with me on this straight away, as they know how many guys just want sex, virtual sex, sexting, etc.

Top annoyances from my perspective:

  • Girls get way too many attention, you compete in an endless virtual dating fight
  • With all the attention girls struggle to filter what they like, meaning you can write a lovely message she’ll never read
  • Girls focus more on looks than anything else
  • Loads of profiles are almost blank and there’s no interest in showing more of ourselves
  • Even after chatting, girls get easily distracted and don’t bother with moving further
  • Jumping in an out of potential matches
  • Loads of competition

This is just a quick list, look in detail and you can see that all of this is a reflection of the mind-set I mentioned before.

I’m not saying there aren’t nice or normal girls around free dating sites, of course there are, but the truth is, chances of us guys having a decent outcome from hours spent in online dating are much lower when compared to paid sites.

And again, if you ask girls about free dating sites annoyances, probably they’ll have a much bigger list and complains to make.

Now, let’s move to the paid services.

The power of paying

Just like you have that let’s give it a try, careless mind-set with free dating, you get the exact opposite when you pay for it.

You can see the difference from day one when you join a great paid site/app such as, this one being my favourite, and also the best choice according OnDatingHub editorial team. Check out a full list of the best dating sites in the UK and make up your mind.

Members have nice profiles with great and useful information about them. They show many pictures and are very open about themselves.

Obviously when paying we have a much bigger expectations and we also put way more effort to make things work. Normally people respect other members more too. For e.g., Girls are expected to have less rude approaches from guys.

Great things come from this environment.

Things I like the most about paid dating

When I pay and join a good dating site, I know overall chances of finding good dates with girls with pretty girls (with a brain too) are much higher. So much higher than I can tell you if I score a girl on a 1 to 10 scale, free dating gets me an average of 6 (I don’t tend to go lower than that), whilst with a paid I get an 8.

My top joys of paid dating:

  • Girls put more effort on the site, offering us guys a better chance to connect
  • Girls aren’t just looking to explore dating, they actually take time to read messages, get to know you better, etc.
  • Access to top girls who just wouldn’t join a free site for its connotation
  • Much less competition from other guys
  • Good support from the team if something needed
  • Having better privacy levels and not getting exposed to scams
  • Pleasant online dating experience

In general I know I’m offered a way better chance of making the most of my time spend on online dating when using a paid site.

It’s less stressful and for the same time and effort you get much better results when compared to free sites.

Bottom line

I can’t say this works the same for all people, but I am a true advocate of paying to get most of online dating. Like they say “you get what you pay for”.

Keep in mind you might share a different experience, depending on the type of person you are, the things you find are worth paying for, your approach to dating, etc.

I am a guy who likes to spend good times online flirting with interesting and pretty girls. After a while a date must come and things should get better and way more interesting.

For me, paying isn’t an issue, it’s just a fair price to pay to take online dating to a new level.

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