The world of dating can be a tricky minefield to navigate – you want to meet new people and enjoy getting to know someone but you also fear the prospect of being judged and getting hurt.
First things first – this is totally normal. Secondly, there are many ways you can overcome your dating worries and it all starts with not letting the fear take over. However, to help you out, here are some useful tips to point you in the right direction.
Scared of…The idea of going on a date
Don’t make excuses
We all know that we can make up reasons for why we don’t want to speak to someone or ask them out. We tell ourselves that we are very comfortable with our single lives and that it’s not worth the hassle. However, dare yourself to try something out of your comfort zone and be brave – you’ll thank yourself for it later.
Dating apps can be a great way to explore this world of dating conversations and flirty banter. The best part is that there are no strings attached – you don’t have to go on a date with any of them but it can be a good way to brush up on your chat and give yourself confidence.
Feel your best
If we don’t feel good, we don’t come across good. When you are making an effort with your appearance, your lifestyle and your work, it’s amazing how invincible that can make you feel. Work on feeling the best that you can so that your confidence will grow.
Also read: Finding a relationship online
Scared of…Being on the date
If you’re nervous about the actual date part (particularly the first one) then being prepared will help to take the edge off. Know where you are going, sort the reservation and communicate with your date about when you are meeting. When you are nervous for something, the last thing you want is to end up wandering around making small talk because there were no tables left.
Make it fun
Conversation and lulls can play on people’s minds when it comes to dating so a date that is active can shift the focus away from that. Perhaps gage what might be suitable from your chats beforehand but anything like crazy golf or a cocktail workshop can just lift the pressure a little.
There’s no harm in question planning
Don’t dive in with an interview-ques approach but having a few questions in mind in case that silence does come up can be a reassuring safety net. Hopefully, it will all flow without this but talking to your friends or even looking up some questions online can help you think of interesting topics to cover.
Take the pressure off
If this is your first date in a while, it can sometimes feel like it’s the be all end all. However, to help you relax and not see it as this huge event, perhaps have a date with someone else you’ve been talking to planned for a week or so later. By knowing that this date and its outcome isn’t your primary focus, you will probably find yourself relaxing – just don’t lead both of them on!
Also read: Best Dating Sites in the UK
Scared of…Trying again
Picking yourself up
This can be one of the hardest and most admirable actions to take. However, as the saying goes, anything worth having doesn’t come easy. We learn a lot more from failure than we do from success and that should be your mindset. Whatever happened, see it as a learning curve that will influence your next dating venture. Note down what went wrong and endeavour to make the appropriate changes, knowing full well that we sometimes want things to go a little wrong so that we can get it absolutely right the next time.
Never regret a thing. Learn from it and go again. You’re allowed to be down about it but there’s a time limit; the longer you let it bother you, the harder it will be to dust yourself off and go again.
Dating can make the most confident of us apprehensive but the important thing to remember is that it should be fun. By going on several different kinds of dates, you will gradually find out what you like and what you don’t and this is the best way to look at it. Know that you are meeting people because you are there to have a good time – remove the pressure and you’ll be surprised at how things might turn out!