Fantastic First Date – Now What?

So you had an enjoyable first date – the flirting was coming naturally, you didn’t have to worry about conversation and you know that you want to see them again. Great – but now what?

girl sitting in the cold

Suddenly the nerves start sinking in and you begin assessing whether they had as good a time as you did and should you approach this ‘second date’ card. Well, fear not! This short guide will give you some next steps no matter what stage you are at so you can smoothly move onto that second date.

During the first date

If it’s going well and you know that this is a girl you would like to see again, don’t be afraid to make a joke about a second date. Of course, try to read the situation a little bit and see if she’s also quite into it and having fun but it can also be a good way to see where she stands. This does not have to be an overly serious comment because you don’t want to come across too keen but a jokey ‘well we will have to make that our second date then’ always goes down well.

Example: You mention a movie that she has never seen or an activity she’s never done? Joke that you will arrange that for the second date. It shows that you would be interested to see her again without having to put all your cards on the table. If she laughs and take it well, you also know that she’s receptive to the idea.

Also read: Finding a relationship online

Straight after the first date

It can always be slightly awkward sending that message after because of all the silly, weird rules we have made up about texting time periods. However, it is always polite to send a message that evening when you’re back that you had a good time and joke about something that you both found funny that evening. She will probably also send one to you before you even have to and it’s also a good way to keep the conversation going after the date, especially if you do want to see each other again.

Example: ‘Thanks for tonight, I had a lot of fun and [insert something about the evening that is funny and can keep the conversation going]’ – this joke could be as simple as ‘and I have to admit the 30 minute wait for a table was worth it!’

A day or so after the first date

After you have sent the friendly text that evening or day, now you need to lay the groundwork for that second date. This is where the joking on the first date comes in handy as you can easily mention about watching that film she has never seen and use it as a pathway for a second date chat. If she is keen, she will be open to laughing about it until you seriously mention a plan and ask what days she will be free. It’s useful to have a fairly solid plan in mind as it can be easy for dates to never materialize when they have been very vaguely organised and no one really knows what’s happening.

Example: A good way to combat this is to say that you’ve heard of a great bar/restaurant etc and that would she be up for checking it out. If she says yes, go straight into ‘Okay cool, I think it gets booked quite quickly, are you free any time this week or next?’ Once it’s actually in the diary, it is much more likely to happen.

Also read: How to get a second date

The second date

Ideas

  • If the first date was drinks then step it up a notch and go for dinner – it adds a bit more of a serious, second date vibe without being too intense
  • If she mentioned not having done something in the date before then make it happen! It will go a long way and can be a great conversation starter
  • A more activity like date that isn’t too over the top can be more fun as you want to stand out compared to the other guys she’s dated – try mini golf or a rooftop bar or an outdoor cinema

Do’s

  • Play the third date card (basically, joke about doing something on the next date like you did before to show that this is going in the right direction for you)
  • Keep up the messaging
  • Dare her into organising the third date

Don’ts

  • Overthink how this date will go in terms of kissing etc – just go with it
  • Be too serious, it’s still early days

Remember to have fun and show your interest by saying how much you enjoyed the previous date – dating should be fun so don’t worry about anything!

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