The realm of mixed signals is always a tricky minefield to navigate – are you giving people the right impression, are they understanding where you stand, are you reading their actions correctly?
Miscommunication and mixed signals can work both ways and sometimes it can lead to relationships fizzling out or peoples’ feelings getting hurt. Therefore, this article will endeavour to help you understand this confusing dating game.
Why do people give mixed signals?
- They are scared of getting hurt so don’t want to commit too much of themselves in case it doesn’t work out
- People who are naturally flirtatious can enjoy the cat and mouse game as it eliminates boredom
- They do not know how they feel – they may like you but have just come out of a relationship or they like some elements of you but not so keen on others and therefore they do not know how to react
- They literally do not have any idea they are giving mixing signals. Sometimes, life can be crazy and hectic and if it’s in the early days of a relationship, messaging someone back can be an afterthought
Mixed signals can come in many different mediums – these are sometimes over message or it might be complete lack of communication after promising to meet up again. The last thing you want to do, however, is lead someone on so it is important to know where you may be going wrong.
Guys and their mixed signals
1) Radio silence and then a text out of nowhere
Her thought process: You may have just not had time but to a girl, this is one of the top mixed signals. We read this as you being bored and needy for attention rather than actually caring about talking to us specifically.
2) Compliments her excessively and then barely replies
Her thought process: He enjoyed the date at the time but he isn’t interested and it’s embarrassing for me to keep messaging him when I feel like I look like an idiot.
3) Message a lot more often once seeing her out with another guy
Her thought process: You aren’t interested unless it’s because there is the potential of her liking someone more than you. She will think that you aren’t into her as a person but rather are more invested in the competition.
4) Say you want to be just friends but keep flirting
Her thought process: He doesn’t want to date or have anything serious but he enjoys casual flirting because he’s bored and doesn’t want to be forgotten.
5) Only message or hang out late at night
Her thought process: He’s only physically attracted to me, he doesn’t actually want anything serious.
There are, of course, plenty of other mixed signals that you may be giving and need to be aware of. If you know that you are guilty of any of the above but didn’t realise that she is interpreting these in such a way then it is time to do something about it! However, it is a two way street and below are some of the mixed signals you may be receiving in return.
Girls and their mixed signals
1) Says she likes you and then starts flirting with another guy in front of you
Translates to: she likes you and is testing you to see if you care enough about her to step in.
2) Flirty but doesn’t message often
Translates to: we don’t like to put ourselves out there too much and seem overly keen so be sure to reply to her messages as she is interested but doesn’t want to come across clingy.
3) Playfully rebukes your offer of date
Translates to: sometimes if she’s questioning or making fun of your date idea, this doesn’t mean she’s not interested. Just as she might say she’s keen but then can’t make any of the days you suggest, it is because she is testing your confidence and interest.
4) Says she’s not into being serious but goes cold when she sees you with another girl
Translates to: at the end of the day, only a few of us like the idea of being casual with someone while they are also being casual with someone else. Just because she isn’t ready for something serious, it doesn’t mean she won’t get mad at you abusing that and flashing it in her face.
Overall, if you are not enjoying the game and confusion then sometimes it is necessary to ask her directly what is going on and take charge. Don’t also be surprised if she does this in return because she feels she is getting mixed signals. This flirting game can only be so fun until you realise you want to know where your relationship stands.