So you’ve taken the leap and decided to try your hand at online dating. You’ve downloaded the apps you think work best for you, you’ve scoured all of your images to select the top few and have spent at least an hour deciding what to write as your bio before finally just settling for you location. And then you wait. And wait. Wait a bit more.
The truth is, if you’re not getting the matches you would like – whether this is in terms of frequency or what kind of girls you may hope to be connecting with – then there are probably some key mistakes you’ve made along the way. Luckily, I’ve outlined some of the top ways you may be self sabotaging without even realising it.
1. The first image
This is the one people see flash across their screen before they take half a second to judge it and then either swipe right or left. To put it bluntly – this is your one chance to truly sell yourself. It doesn’t matter if you have a great profile lined up if she never clicks that far. So, where might you be going wrong? Unless it’s a photo containing either just you or one other person, it shows your face clearly and fully and does not have any weird filters on it, then it’s probably best you change it.
Also read: How to get a second date
One of the most common mistakes is when guys choose massive group photos (most girls can’t be bothered to work out which one you are) or seem to be jumping onto this craze of ‘half-a-face’ photo or the sunglasses look. Also try to avoid the funny captioned filters.
2. The next images
Yes, I am are still talking about the images. With these sort of dating apps, visuals are everything and so you want to choose the photos that give you the best chance. A key thing to remember here is that you want diversity – having the same kind of photos doesn’t really tell people anything about you.
A good way to judge it is to see if you have:
- A single, clear photo of you that really shows what you look like
- A group photo just to tick the ‘sociable, has friends’ box
- An example of one of your hobbies – this is when sporting ones come in handy such as the classic skiing photos that also act as a great conversation starter
- The travelling image is also a great one to use because it shows an interesting side to you and again can act as a great topic for conversation
- Something funny – we don’t want to always see the same serious pictures and a lot of the time it can be the one people decide to say yes to
- Dogs. (If you don’t have one, find one. It helps – trust me)
3. Your bio
If someone is looking at your bio, you’ve gotten past the first step. Congratulations. In fact, this one should almost be easy and yet you would be surprised at how many people mess this part up.
Firstly, don’t mention too much text – people don’t want to waste time reading loads and then what will you talk about? Just sticking to your location, what you do, your height (shallow but most girls like to know) and then a humorous line about what you are looking for. This doesn’t mean something explicit or overly gushy but can be as simple as: Looking for someone to share a dog with (funny but also clear).
4. Careful of the super like
Sometimes, with your profile, you may be doing everything right. However, she then notices that little blue ‘super like’ star twinkling at her and she swipes left. These little signals are paradoxical in nature and it can be confusing whether to use them or not. On one hand, it is very flattering to receive one of these super likes and most girls would like to receive one.
However, these can almost deter girls to click on your profile in return because unfortunately we can’t help but judge it as a level of keenness. A paradox. So while it comes from a good place and is incredibly flattering, just be careful that this isn’t where you are going wrong.
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By making sure you are reading these guidelines and implementing the correct changes, your chances of matching and starting chatting will certainly increase. Just remember, getting a swipe right only means you’ve made it past the first two hurdles – there’s still the first message.